Top Ten Lies

Thought I would give you a list of the top ten lies by soon to be ex has told me over the past seven years:

10. The two dressers he bought me for my birthday were antiques and cost $200 at an estate sale. The truth: they cost $20 at a yard sale. Definitely not antiques.
9. He looked in on my cat and held her after she was injured (she had been to the emergency vet, I needed to wait a couple days to see if there was any change before I took her back) - while I was at work. Truth: she was in too much pain to be held for any length of time - forget about the 30 minutes he claimed. Also, she was incontinent. He had no idea, yet I had to change my clothes after holding her for only a few minutes - just long enough to clean her up.
8. He is too old to get a job - or so everyone he interviews with tells him. Truth: it is illegal for anyone to discriminate because of age. And he is only 51.
7. He and his parolee buddy were going to start a business. Truth: they sit in the basement and play computer games all day.
6. The dishwasher keeps breaking and he has to fix it about once a month. Truth: the dishwasher is fine - I had an appliance repairman come out and take a look at it and he said there was nothing wrong with it.
5. He fixed my car. Truth: my car was locked and the alarm was on, and I had both sets of keys. How could he have gotten in to fix it (see #1 - maybe that ones true).
4. His last girlfriend called the police and had him arrested when he kicked her out. Truth: he threatened suicide when she left him and ended up in the psych ward.
3. He was a police officer who got laid off when the department decided to buy a helicopter. Truth: he was a security guard at the building that housed the police department. He was never an actual police officer.
2. He is a witch - with the power to see the future and change traffic lights. He can also take sickness away. Truth: he is an ordinary human with delusions of grandeur who puts wiccans to shame.
1. He loved me. Truth: if you lie to the extent he does, you don't even love yourself so how could he love me.